Dry Mouth
by matespritheavymetal
Summary: Dirk Strider slowly falls down a path of negative outcomes as he tries his best to "grow up" with his cousin and best friend at his side. Little did he know, he would meet Jake English, fall in love, and find himself, all in the span of one summer. Rated M for language and serious topics.


Hello dear followers to this shitty story: I am deciding to write one more story and see how it goes.

Dirk woke up the next day with the stale taste of alcohol in his mouth. He may had drunken too much last night. This whole "you gotta GROW UP" talk that his brother gave to him yesterday got to him, and he was a fucking mess. He sat up from his bed and looked around the room, clothes were strewn everywhere and not a pair of shades in sight. Dirk felt a hangover migraine coming on, and he knew it was going to be a bad one. Where did he even get enough alcohol to produce this bad of a hangover? He couldn't even afford to get his brother to boot shitty wine coolers for him. He didn't think he even left the house.

As he got up out of bed he found his solution.

He found his lovely cousin Roxy Lalonde sleeping on the floor next to his bed, her comatose like state covered by a shitty pillowcase. He slightly chuckled, slightly groaned as he stepped over her, making his way to his bathroom. He flicked on the light, slightly wincing. He found his pair of shades on the bathroom counter and couldn't get them on fast enough. He turned the light off and decided to go make some coffee for when the Lalonde beast awakens, slowly slinking down the narrow staircase, every step a pain, eventually making it to the bottom with a sigh. He thinks maybe more than coffee will be needed for himself. Dirk walked over to the kitchen, noticing the post it note on the counter. He picked it up and brought it as close as possible in order to read it.

"gaylord dirk

Make sure you clean up last nights mess

Gone to visit Harley, should be back later tonight.

\- The coolest bro ever

p.s do the fucking laundry"

Dirk crumbled the note with a long sigh and threw it into the hoop that Dave had installed over the trash can. As he put the coffee on, he noticed there was fucking clothes everywhere. He didn't seem to recognize a few pieces of them, and instantly was overcome with panic. He noticed something. There was a pair of feet hanging over the edge of the sofa across the room. His strider instincts kicking in, he grabbed one of the shitty swords off the display case over the fire place and made his way over to the living room. He slowly stood behind the back of it, just barely able to make out the fact that yes, it was a person on his couch, and yes, they were asleep.

But who was it?

He readied his sword and made the turn around the arm to find his very good friend Jane Crocker.

He felt the breathe he was holding slowly release itself as he dropped the sword to the floor, the metal making a loud "thud" against the old scrapped up flooring, causing Miss. Crocker to wake with a little gasp.

"Oh, sorry, didn't mean to wake you"

"Oh, um, it's alright Dirk, I shouldn't have passed out on your couch... hehe"

"Well I shouldn't have invited Lalonde over on a Friday night.."

"Well that is true.."

They both giggled as they heard loud groans coming from Dirks bedroom.

They both looked at each other and let out a sigh.

"Go back to sleep Janey, I got this" Dirk said like an overtired new parent. The only thing was he was a new parent to an 18 year old baby who was hungover and would most likely rip his face off when he got upstairs empty handed.

He made his way to the kitchen, pouring some of the still hot coffee into a mug, then carefully make his way up the stairs. He looked back to see Jane Readjusting herself on the couch, resting her hand on her forehead. Janey must have been hit hard last night by the booze train. All three of you had a terrible week so you all drunk like it was the end of the world, Dirk thought about going out and buying medicine, it might help, he hates seeing Jane in pain.

He turns the corner into his room, seeing a flash of blonde hair run past him to the bathroom across the hall. Roxy slammed the door shut and proceeded to make a few disgusting barfing noises.

" Roxy? You okay?"

No response, only horrible, horrible sounds.

"I'm just gonna leave you some coffee outside the door, take your time I guess"

Dirk chuckled as Roxy responded by a loud groan, amplified by the toilet bowl.

He rubbed his temples as he made his way downstairs. He started to try and remember what had happened last night but couldn't for the life of him. He wanted to ask Jane but as he got to the bottom of the stairs he could see she was fast asleep.


End file.
